


Testament

by crmsndragonwngs



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Gen, Manga Spoilers, Suicide, letter format, massive spoilers, suicide letter, tg:re ch 82
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-25
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-07-18 03:30:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7297723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crmsndragonwngs/pseuds/crmsndragonwngs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I have never thought myself to be a poet, but the words seem to be unbridled, flying free onto the page.  You have been a great influence on me, it seems.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Testament

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously, if you haven't read chapter 82, turn back now.

Haise,

Before this battle, I had never written a testament. Not because I believed myself to be invincible, or for any of the other reasons our colleagues have often claimed, but because I have never had anyone to whom I could leave my belongings. Now, however, I find myself able to write the things I have always wanted to write. I have never thought myself to be a poet, but the words seem to be unbridled, flying free onto the page. You have been a great influence on me, it seems.

This fight will be hard, and there will be things you will not understand. I apologize for that. Perhaps I could have made my intentions more clear, but before now I did not think it to be necessary. My only regret is that you will blame yourself for something of which I am wholly responsible. I do not want that for you.

For years I have groomed you. I have trained you. I molded you into an undefeatable soldier, fully capable of surpassing me. I am sure by now you have regained the memories of who you once were, and are likely wondering why I did these things. You probably hate me. I would not blame you.

There are two possible outcomes to this coming battle. I have planned this carefully these last few weeks, and I am sure you have your own plans as well. I have thought of that too. I should tell you now that I will not be the blade by which you die. I will not kill you. I do not think that I could. Instead you will kill me, not because I let you, but because you are much stronger than you could ever know. And if you do not, then I will fall upon my own sword.

I am failing. The sight in my right eye is gone. I will not be useful for much longer. That is why I must die in this battle. Perhaps if they see you have bested the CCG’s undefeatable Reaper, then despite your betrayal, they might find you useful and take you back into their fold. If not, then please enjoy your freedom while you have it. I will not be there to take it from you again.

As for my belongings, should you want them, they are yours. There are a few pieces of my quinque collection that may be useful to you, and of course the books have always been yours. The horse pin you gave to me this last Christmas should be in the top drawer of my desk. You may have it back if you want it. If not, then I would not mind being buried with it, if there is a body to be recovered.

Sincerely yours,  
Arima Kishou  
Investigator Special Class

**Author's Note:**

> Man, I hope none of this shit is true. I don't even know why I wrote this, it's 3 am and I'm upset goddammit.
> 
> Also, I imagine Arima to be one of those people that writes in a really formal, almost stilted style, with absolutely no contractions. It was extremely hard to write this way, by the way. And aside from the one possessive, there's not a single apostrophe in the entire text. My eyes feel like they're bleeding from scouring this thing and I never want to see it again. And I don't want the new chapter tomorrow. At the time of posting, I've only seen the spoilers and that one panel of Arima slashing his throat and I'm UPSET.
> 
> Arima is number three in my list of favorite characters, and I knew he was probably gonna die in this arc, but that doesn't mean I was ready for it. *sobs*


End file.
